1. Don’t bite the hand that . . . looks dirty.

2. Better to be safe than . . . punch a 5th grader.

3. If you lie down with dogs, you . . . will stink in the morning.

4. Where there is smoke, there is . . . pollution.

5. If at first you don’t succeed . . . get new batteries.

-Space is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the drug store, but that’s just peanuts to space.  - Douglas Adams

-It is only in the world of objects that we have time and space and selves. - T. S. Eliot

-The Earth reminded us of a Christmas tree ornament hanging in the blackness of space. As we got farther and farther away it diminished in size. Finally it shrank to the size of a marble, the most beautiful marble you can imagine. - James Irwin

“The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. “No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this”

“For me the Jewish religion like all others is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions.”  “And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people.”

In the past historians have used quotes of his like: “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind” - to show that Albert Einstein did believe in religion but this new infomration seems to over-trump it.

Not really shocking from a man who followed the high-power of science his entire life but it is interesting to hear what a die-hard atheist he appeared to be.

-The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month. - Henry Van Dyke

-In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. - Margaret Atwood

-To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - -W. J. Vogel

-The weather here is gorgeous. It’s mild and feels like it’s in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts. - David Letterman

Even the gods love jokes.  Plato

April 1.  This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.  Mark Twain

“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.” - Oscar Wilde

“On matters of style, swim with the current, on matters of principle, stand like a rock.” - Thomas Jefferson

“The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.” - Dave Barry

“Fashion is a social agreement. the result of a consensus of a large group of people.” - Stella Blum

“Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.”

“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge. ”

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.”

“People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.”

RadioShack Ad Issac Asimov featuring a color computer (1982)